"I'm only honest when it rains. If I time it right, the thunder breaks; When I open my mouth. I want to tell you but I don't know how." - Sleeping at Last
if u feel like u dont know what ur doing w ur life just remember that venus spins backwards and we dont even fuckin know why. just do whatever you wanna honestly
i really hate coming out but still want my extended family to know, so my mother took it upon herself to invent the game “guess which one of my kids is gay.”
the rules are simple.
sit down with uncle so-and-so
he says something about gay people in passing
my mom says “there’s a gay person at this table right now. guess which of my kids it is!
he looks frantically between the three of us trying to figure out if she’s joking or not and trying desperately not to offend anyone but also she won’t continue with the conversation unless he makes a guess so he has to make a guess
we all enjoy his discomfort immensely
This isnt coming out of the closet. This is coughing loudly from within the closet to scare the people outside of it, which is immensely more entertaining.
honestly…it’s ok to just use your skills on yourself! sewing clothes only you to wear, making art to hang up in your own personal area, singing and recording songs for you only to listen to…like not everything has to be for other people’s consumption!
like a year ago I saw a trailer for Some Fucking Romcom where I thought for the first thirty seconds the plot was “bride asks her gay brother and his boyfriend to get heterosexual dates for her wedding”
turns out the plot actually was “bride asks her two Commitmentphobic ™ brothers to get dates for her wedding” which, lame
I like my idea, where two gay dudes and two lesbians have to pretend to be straight for an entire weekend
“I can definitely pretend to be straight,” Lesbian One says, “I successfully pretended to be a straight man for twenty years.”
“No,” her girlfriend Lesbian Two says, “no you definitely didn’t.”
Lesbian Two, who is butch, discovers an eyelash curler. “What is this, a torture device?”
Gay Guy One hooks up with the DJ, the wedding planner, three caterers and the best man. Shenanigans happen as he narrowly avoids getting caught by the bride.
Gay Guy Two, of course, finds himself falling hopelessly in love with the groom.
At the climax of the movie Gay Guy One falls out of the closet where he’s making out with his latest conquest, the florist. The bride screams, eyeliner smearing from tears, about how he’s RUINING HER WEDDING and she didn’t choose to have a brother who was QUEER and why didn’t he ever think about HER and why couldn’t he just pretend to be NORMAL for her SPECIAL DAY–
and then the wedding is called off and Gay Guy Two and the groom live happily ever after. the after-credits scene is Lesbian Two suspiciously poking her eyelids with an eyelash curler
Please write this movie.
Play It Straight (2019)
IT’S TIME TO BRING THIS GEM BACK TO LIGHT
I…i…I’m gonna write a fanfic. Based on this…someone stop me
Do it. Tag me.
someone make it an actual thing someonemakeitanactualthing
My Calling
Only… I.. I kinda wanna write it in a series.
Book 1: Play it Straight
Book 2: Bi the Way
Book 3: My Cis-ter’s Keeper
Book 4: I’m Acing it
Book 5: How to be Poly-glamorous
Book 6: Don’t You Just Love Pan-demonium?
yknow what im tagging some ppl i think would appreciate these titles bc for once im actually proud of my stuff
going thru phone pics and found this thing that was tacked up next to the toaster at my old job, if anyone needs some light toast eating reading material
Would anyone be kind enough to transcribe this or link to a text version?
Everything Is AWFUL and I’m Not Okay: Questions to Ask Before Giving Up on Yourself
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water. Dehydration can mimic
or increase feelings associated with anxiety and a
well hydrated brain functions optimally. Avoid
excess caffeine.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
Don’t be a victim of hanger! Get some food–something
with protein, not just simple carbs or
high-fat. Nuts, hummus, and veggies are great
options to feed your studying brain. Keep healthy
snacks within reach to avoid mindlessly chowing
down on sweets.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy
or time for a run or a trip to the gym, just walk
around the block or building. Even minimal exercise
preps the mind for learning so that you can focus
better and recall things easier, plus it’s good to get a
change of scenery.
Have you said something nice to someone in the
past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it
genuine! We bet your study partner would
appreciate a compliment.
Have you moved your body to music in the past
day?
If not, jog for the length of a song at your favorite
tempo, or just dance around your bedroom for the
length of an upbeat song (singing along is a bonus)
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two
days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from
friends of friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the
cuddles too; you’re not imposing.
Have you started or changed any medications in the
past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a
change in generic prescription brand?
That may be screwing with your head. Give things a
few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle
down.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If no, put on clean clothes that aren’t PJs. Give
yourself permission to wear something special,
whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but
resisting going to sleep?
Put on PJs, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy
bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your
eyes for fifteen minutes while focusing on breathing
deeper with every breath- no electronic screens
allowed! Adequate sleep is a necessity for stress
management.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed,
whether it’s responding to an email, loading the
dishwasher, or tidying up your room. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a darn selfie. Your friends will remind you how
great you look. You are always insta-worthy.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a
game plan for the day. If a particular decision or
problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside
for now, and pick something else that seems doable.
Right now, the important part is to break through
that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you over-exerted yourself lately–physically,
emotionally, socially, or intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give
yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical
rest, taking some time alone, or relaxing with some
silly entertainment for a little. Time spent refreshing
yourself is never time “wasted!”
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes or perception of life is skewed, and we
can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and
there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep
yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and
see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far; and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
I couldn’t stop thinking about why it bothered me seeing two of my friends bonding in a special way. They deserve it. I wish them the best from the bottom of my heart. But then again why? Why does it hurt so bad, I wonder. And suddenly I realised. It’s because there is no place for me in this special bond. They left me alone.
